I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
