I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Less talking, more tequila
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
