Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize