We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
