I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize