Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize