You really coming over, don't trick.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize