omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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