You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
