Pappa wants mamma naked
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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