is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
