ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
