She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
