Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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