thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
if i can run in heels then i can drive
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize