I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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