I molested 6 butterflies tonight
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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