He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
