I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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