omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
