They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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