sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
