Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
