Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
