Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize