My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
what day is it and did you see me today?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
How's work?
Spinning.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
