We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
