My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
