I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
