you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
