did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
