Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
