No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i will never coherently bang her
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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