I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
