Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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