In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
