Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
