Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
