we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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