this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
