It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This baby is an asshole
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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