That's intense
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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