She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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