Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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