Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
