ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
