So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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