I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm sobbing to NWA
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
