From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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