Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
