He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
