we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
