just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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