Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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