Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize