Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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