So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize