problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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