question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize