it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
